Why not tell the world?

In the very moment I write this first post, my intention for this blog is for it to be a personal account of my journey towards completing a story. To me, it is a motivator (one of them). As I write this, I realise that I am yet to tell anybody I know that I am starting a blog. I am sure that occasions will arise where it will be suitable to bring it up in conversation. But I guess the point I want to discuss is this: surely, the more people read these blog posts, the greater the weight of expectation bestowed on my shoulders. The readers will mean well, I'm sure, but they will still be expectant. 

Perhaps that expectation would make me a more efficient writer. Indeed I think it would be pretty unwise of me to tell nobody about this blog (or worse still, to never click the "Publish" button), so as to try to completely avoid being asked about how the novel's coming along. But why do I hesitate to tell everybody I know about this blog? There must be something in me that seeks a balance: perhaps part of me is afraid that the pressure to complete this story would be overbearing if lots of people expect me to do it. Yet, I have gone out of my way to set this blog up, so I must have some motivation to take on a project like this. And I'm sure that in future posts I'll talk about that in great detail.


I think it's interesting how people respond when you tell them you want to write a novel.


"Have you got plans for the summer?" A question I've been asked many times recently.
"Well not really. I really should learn to drive, so I want to do that." That's more or less the boring way I start my answer. 

Then after myself and whoever it is I'm chatting with discuss our more exciting holiday plans, occasionally I'll finally muster up the courage to say, "You know what, I'm actually also writing a novel. I want to get my head down this summer and write for that."


Judging by everyone's reaction to this information, it is surprising. People often seem excited. I suspect some people have thought I was naive, although most of those I've discussed my plans with have hidden it well if that was their opinion. People seem impressed, and they always want to know what the story is about. 


Once, a friend approached the subject that I was writing a novel, before I had ever told him about it. This surprised, and admittedly, also slightly irritated me at the time (it really shouldn't have). The person he had heard about my writing from (and in whom at the time I felt I had "confided" in) was his housemate, and he was nearby. I moaned at the housemate, but as we talked, I saw that he was clearly excited - he practically wanted to tell everyone


I started to question why I was being so protective of this information. I realised that I was afraid of the expectation. As I mentioned before, a part of me is worried about the pressure that comes with more people knowing about my plans to write a novel. However, time has allowed me to see that if I keep cowering away from the pressure of expectation, I may never be motivated enough to get this done.


Finally, I realise that lots of time with which I could potentially work directly on the story will be instead used to write blog posts like this. But I guess it matters to me more that I have sufficient motivation to complete the story, than that I complete it quickly. That's why when people have asked me excitedly, "Ooo when are you gonna get your book published?" I always say that my main focus is just to complete it. It's such a difficult thing to write a whole book, and I realise that so many people start but don't finish. I know that if I actually complete this story, I will have made many sacrifices just to get to that point.


SI

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